First off, I have never planned a wedding before. I have been a bridesmaid in some but was very hands off. Helped with a few decorations and the clean up. If fact, until very recently- the past 4 or 5 years. I hated weddings. I hated going to them. Unless you were very important to me, I would not likely to attend. Even then, it was very iffy.
In my earlier years, 20s and early 30s, honestly had no desire to get married. I did anyway, twice. The first time was because I thought that’s you were supposed to do. He proposed to me. I told him that the only way I would marry is if he took me to Vegas. Less than a year later, we were on a plan to Vegas.
I remember my step-mom taking me to David’s Bridal to help me pick out a dress. I did not want one. I did not want to wear white. I did not care how I looked. She practically forced me to get one. She did pay for it. I found one that was really cute on me. It was also very cheap. Shortly after the wedding, I donated the dress to Goodwill. I really hope someone got better use out of that dress than I did.
My second marriage I wore a long leggings-shirt/sweater and leggings. It was honestly probably the nicest thing I had at the time. We got married at the Justice of the Peace. I had no business getting married that day. To this day, I still can’t say with confidence why we got married. We had been together for awhile. I needed insurance and that is just what you do, right?
I think the two times before, I did not dream of a wedding because it was a very unrealistic goal. The first marriage was shortly out of high school and we simply did not have a lot of money. The second marriage I was in the deepest part of my addiction and alcoholism. Like I had said earlier, I had no business getting married that day. When drugs and alcohol run your life, staying above water is about all you can do.
I am just over 5 years clean and sober (Sobriety date: January 3, 2019). Today I am living my best life. I have the ability to pick a great partner. More importantly, I can be a great partner today. Having a wedding is much more realistic for me today. I can dream up whatever wedding I want. And I have amazing people in my life who will actually attend.
What kind of wedding do I want? I don’t really know what I want. I do know what I don’t want. I know for sure I do not want a church or religious wedding. Not that I don’t have a relationship with God today, it’s just not my vibe. I also know that I don’t want an outside wedding. Outside weddings are beautiful and amazing. I just know that I don’t want to be dependent on the weather for my big day. We are planning on getting married in April. I would assume the weather would be a bit cold here in Indiana for an outside wedding.
Not really knowing where to start. I took a quiz on The Knot. It told me my wedding style was Modern and Industrial with a touch of Hippie. I started researching those styles and themes with naturally sent me down a rabbit hold of information.
I quickly found that I did not like the Modern l or Industrial look of weddings. The touch of Hippie I see. The other two styles simply are not what I’m looking for.
I absolutely love and adore the look and style of Boho. I just do not feel like it fits me though. I do have an idea of what I want my wedding dress to look like. I also know it will not work with the boho theme.
The Classic look is very timeless. There seems to be a lot white involved. I like color and sometimes to much of it. When I moved in with David, his house looked very “basic white girl”. I truly did stop at the entrance and consider if I missed any red that he could still be married. Then I wondered if this was actually his mom or grandma’s house. Upon moving in, we (I) got rid of the white. David calls my decorating style calico. While I could compromise on some white, just not a whole theme around it.
The exact opposite of classic would be the Moody style. I have to admit, I did consider this. Most of the look I found was in black. I would want more of a deep purple. The biggest downfall to this is that it would involve more special order or harder to find items. I have to consider the budget. I need to find a more out-of-the-box style.
Now we are getting somewhere with the Cottagecore style. It has color and is more outdoorsyish. (Yes, I just made that word up). It’s simple and goes with rural aspect of the wedding that I’m looking for.
The Rustic style is another good one. I love nature. I grew up near a large patch of woods. Many of my favorite childhood memories involve being out in the woods. I just don’t think this is exactly how I envisioned my wedding though. Nothing particularly bad about it. Just not what I want.
So who doesn’t want a Fairytale wedding? This style would be perfect with purples, golds and the style of dress I’m going for. It has a whimsical feel and takes me back to my childhood. This would be perfect with the dress style I’m going with.
This is hard. Picking a wedding style and theme. This sets the vibe for the wedding. It has to reflect us as a couple. My top two picks would definitely be Cottagecore or Fairytale or maybe a bit of both. This is where David’s opinion come into play.
We are going to go look at our first venue tomorrow! I think the type of venue we choose will play into the overall style as well.
What are your experiences with choosing a wedding theme or style? What style did you have? I would love to hear about it in the comments!
Until next time,
Amanda