We went to look at our first venue on Sunday. At first we weren’t super impressed. The more we looked around and saw the property, we both fell in love. It looks like I am going to have to compromise and do an outside wedding. David is very much a nature person, as he spends all his free time on the lake fishing. Most of our dates are spent walking the dogs through hiking trails.
The venue has several different areas for the ceremony. In one of the areas there is a ton of stone. Much of it is old leftover stone from the original building that occupied the property. There is an old leftover chimney and stove that was built around stone. The area is currently unfinished. David hasn’t been overly excited about the planning process. When he saw this and heard the vision of the site, his eyes just lit up. He started to become very animated.
The property is owed by a retired couple, who has a dream of making dreams come true for new couples. The whole vibe of the property is very whimsical and fairytale like and surrounded completely by nature.
At a networking event I met the wife. I was instantly intrigued by her because she walked in with a book in her hand. Instantly recognized the book, as I had just bought it. It was the “The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters” by Priya Parker. At that time, I had not had the chance to read it. I was curious as to what her thoughts about it were and why she would bring it to this event.
After talking to her for some time, she started talking about this new wedding venue that she owns. When she spoke about it, she didn’t tell me about all the features it has. She talked about the experiences to be had. She told me about the little things she helps create to make the experience magical. Such as, leaving a specialized note at the seat from the bride and groom for each guest. I remember thinking in at moment, what would my notes say to the people I would want at my wedding. Needless to say, I was in love with the place, sight unseen. More so, I was intrigued by her. She handed me her flyer and we parted ways.
I took that flyer and put in my wallet. This was months before David had even proposed. The topic had been brought up between us but I think David was still unsure. We did both say in the beginning of our relationship that neither of us wanted to get married.
That changed for me about a year into our relationship. At this point, we had already been living with each other. We had been through some tough times. Both of us has had very toxic relationships in the past. It’s hard not to bring that into a new relationship. We both felt the struggle. I felt though that we both ultimately wanted the same thing. We both wanted a life-long partner, a best friend, someone just to experience life with.
I was 3 years into sobriety when we started dating. David was 10 years and had already been though a marriage in sobriety. His ex ended up leaving him for another man. It broke David. So for him to even get in a relationship and one where we lived together was huge step.
I was just learning how to live again. I had remained single for the first 3 years. I worked my recovery program and was very involved in the recovery community. I quickly learned, being in an intimate relationship was a whole different ball game. It was unlike the relationships I had formed so far. There were parts of me that I had not seen come out since my early days of sobriety. I had to learn to navigate that. I had to learn heal from that so that I didn’t hurt my partner.
I believe that David and I relationship is strong. It’s not because we are perfect. It’s because we both take the time to recognize our parts or defects. We can’t be afraid to look at who we really are inside. We must note the things that could be harmful to those around us. We can’t expect the other person to fix the pain inside of us. Instead, give the other person the room to grow and heal from the pain inside themselves.
One day, David and I decided to try a new pizza place in town. New to us, I should specify. David had just parked the truck and instead of getting out he paused. Because he paused, I paused and looked at him wondering why he paused. He looked and me and said, “If we were to get married, what kind of wedding would you want to have?”
I have been waiting months for this question. I was ready to answer. I open my purse and get my wallet out. Inside a side pocket held a folded up flyer, that I was given several months ago. I handed the flyer to him and said, this is the kind of wedding I want.
The look on his face as to how prepared I was to answer this question was priceless.
Share with with your experience with finding a venue of your dream wedding! How did you know you found the perfect partner?
Until next time,
Amanda Jo
